Femdom Essay # 2- How to find a femdom

Finding a Femdom 

So, you have come the inescapable conclusion that you are a submissive.  What to do?  What kind of Femdom would suit you best?  Once you have decided what kind of Femdom you are seeking, either strict or sensual, or perhaps, a hybrid of the two, how do you find such a Femdom?  Can you go to the phone book, flip through the alphabet and look for “Femdoms” in the “F” section?  Sadly, you cannot.  You may be able to find a Femdom, Mistress or Dominatrix in your local alternative magazine or newspaper.  Unfortunately the chances of finding a Femdom via these kinds of publications drastically decrease as you move from larger metropolitan areas into suburban, or worse yet, rural areas.  So, what is a submissive to do?  How can you know, first and foremost how or where to find your dream Femdom, let alone, what kind of Femdom you would most enjoy?  Thankfully, if you are internet savvy, you can search for a Femdom on line.  However, you must first understand the distinctions that exist between Femdoms.   

Femdom?  Femdom?  Who is the Right Femdom? 

There are a few categories of Femdoms that you must understand before you embark on finding that special Dominant Woman to help you scratch your submissive itch.  Professional Femdoms are Femdoms who either have their own location, typically called a dungeon, or who will travel to you location for BDSM play.  To secure the services of a Professional Femdom, you can expect to spend in the neighborhood of $300 an hour or more.  If you can afford this option, you will be able to indulge just about any Femdom fantasy your submissive mind can conjure, and, you will likely be engaging in your favorite Femdom fantasy in a wonderfully appointed space.  The hefty price tag is well worth it, if you have Femdom play in your family budget.  

The next kind of Femdom to consider is an online or phone Femdom.  These Femdoms will likely not meet with you in person, however, they are available to engage in Femdom role play fantasies, and BDSM play with you, on the phone, while watching you on web cam, or both.  This is a very affordable alternative to the Professional Femdom option, since most virtual Femdoms (those who dominate on line and on the phone) begin their rates at around two dollars a minute.   

Lifestyle Femdoms are the most affordable of the Femdom options, however, they are the most difficult to come by.  Lifestyle Femdoms are women who, in their spare time, enjoy domination and have not yet made the leap from novice to professional Femdom.  Like professional, phone and on line Femdoms, lifestyle Femdoms enjoy dominating submissives so much so that they are highly sought by submissive men and women who engage in BDSM play.  Typically, lifestyle Femdoms only dominate those who are in their circle of friends and fellow BDSM enthusiasts.  It can be extremely difficult to find a lifestyle Femdom, since it is believed that submissive men outnumber Dominant Women four to one.   

Among Femdoms, there is a distinction between strict and sensual.  Strict Femdoms typically enjoy BDSM play to an extreme.  For instance, a sensual Femdom may play with orgasm denial as a tool for dominating and enhancing sexual pleasure, with a great likelihood of release.  However when a strict Femdom engages in orgasm denial, she will most likely do so with little (or any) hope of release.  Yet another distinction between strict and sensual Femdoms is that most strict Femdoms are into physical and often painful forms of BDSM play, whereas sensual Femdoms will employ what is known as “mind fuckery” and light domination and very light pain play.  Some Femdoms, however, enjoy a bit of both strict and sensual, preferring to keep the mystery and intrigue factors very high in their sessions.   

How Can I Know Which Femdom is Right for Me? 

As with any relationship, it is crucial to ask lots of questions.  Your potential new Femdom, or Mistress, will likely ask you plenty of questions as well.  In fact, you may be overjoyed at the prospect of playing with your new Femdom, only to find that she deemed you not a good fit for one reason or another.  A good question to ask your potential Femdom is, does she have any limits or any type of fetish or BDSM play that she resolutely does not enjoy.  She will want to know the same about you.  Making any relationship work, whether vanilla or BDSM, it is vital to keep communication lines open, and, of course, be willing to compromise.  Finally, be open-minded about what your dream Femdom will look and feel like.  If you feel that you can only truly serve a six-foot, blond-haired, blue-eyed, lifestyle Femdom, you may be looking for a long, long, long time!